January 29, 2008

This was written on 1-29-08, on a single sheet of lined paper.

I'm going to be alright, but right not, I'm not. There is nothing anyone can do, but give me time, and trust me to take care of myself. I need to get out of here, out of high school, out of normality, out of expectations and set rules. I need to be responsible for myself, and not have to cater to what other people expect. I need to live my own life. Thats what I need to do, for me. But there's no way I can do that. I cant keep going in the situation I'm in. And as much as I'd like to, running away is impractical, and would just cause more problems. I mean sure, I could go, but it wouldn't be like the books I've read. My parents wouldn't just accept that I'd left, they'd hunt for me. Police and all. I cant do that. That would defeat the purpose. But I need to get out of here. There's got to be a way. Some way to get closer. But I can never get there fast enough. And its not like I can just tell my parents that this is what I need. They wouldn't understand. they wouldn't get it. They'd tell me I was being stupid, and that I'd just have to tough it out. Well FUCK! I HAVE been toughing it out. And I can't fucking take it anymore. I cant do this anymore. I'm done. I need change. I need to be able to do what I want, and not have to take shit for it not being right. I hate now society puts these ideas in our heads on what is acceptable and what isn't. You should accept everything! As long as it isn't hurting anyone without their consent, whats wrong with it?! NOTHING. But society makes you think that people who do things differently, or don't agree with the general opinions, are bad, or wrong, or something that should be avoided. And its not that way! People are different- There's no way you can prevent that. And not accepting the differences, and embracing them makes you STUPID.



So fuck off.